that feeling

here comes that feeling again
where i begin to digress
into that state of lofty oblivion
where i end up finding myself completely and wholeheartedly hopeless

...

it comes sometimes when i first arise
when i haven't a love to meet my eyes
and yet it happens in the black of night
when love is forever beyond my sight
despite my vigor, my rage, and attempts
i fall back, stumbling, winding up bent
unable to straighten my tattered limbs
for love is not here, not here again
but the love i lack at this point in time
is not that which one may normally find
for it is not the love of admiration
nor is it the love of sweet elation
the love i lack in my efforts today
is the love that keeps me from becoming dismayed
struck with fear, dread, and consternation
i digress into my state of deep frustration

with temptations tempting all sensations
i digress into my state of deep frustration

for i have not within me the love to carry on
i have not within me the love upon
which i can rest my dreary lonesome
and ask to help me somehow find some
remedy to the completion of the tasks ahead
that i fail to complete or even begin in my head
after hours and lifetimes staring at the screen
i am lost without this love in me
i will continue to stare, maybe blink now and then
until i feel the time has finally come when
i should either jostle down these treasures of thought
or accept defeat and know love has not
found its way back into my soul
nor made a promise to me to console
the fear, dread, and consternation
that chip away at my fragile foundation

with this moment leading to desperation

i digress


still without



love's




sweet





salvation