the good fight

i found a book that i began reading before i left to england in the garage the other day. it had fallen out of a box and was blocked from view by the menagerie of randomness that rests in that dusty cave. the cover of bright blue sky fading to a lighter shade as it caught the boundaries of the purple mountain peaks reminded me of how much i enjoying whatever it was that i had read before our relationship ended, after all...it's paulo coelho. so i flipped through a couple pages and found a section underlined. usually i'll tab a page with any underlining for easy reference but this one hadn't been tabbed for some reason...which made the underlined sentences even more meaningful and purposeful.

'we look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. but we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. for them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what's important is only that they are fighting the good fight.'

i was so happy to read that last sentense because it is exactly how i feel right now. living for today and only today is the best thing i've been trying to do for myself in a long long time. i'm fighting the good fight for myself; i'm fighting the good fight to be a better person; i'm fighting the good fight to be a good person. victory, in this sense, may never be achieved as i will always have room for improvement and room to be more 'good'. defeat, however, isn't really important either because it will never come to fruition as long as i continue in my fight. so, what matters is that i fight. and that's important to me. as long as i fight against my insecurities, my doubts, my weaknesses, then every day will be a good day. with five more hours left in today, i can say, that i was a good person today. i appreciated the small things of the day, ate vegan for the day, and thought about and appreciated those important and not important to me. i learned from today and i understand today. and i'm sure the remaining five hours will be just as good.